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    postheadericon Anatomy of a Character: Introducing Bigfoot from ‘Donations to Clarity’ by Noah Baird


    Today kicks off a new feature at Literarily SpeakingAnatomy of a Character is a continuing feature with interviews talking about their main characters.  What makes these characters tick?  How did the authors develop their personalities and quirks?  Today we are talking to Noah Baird, author of the humor book,Donations to Clarity (South Wind Publishing).  Today’s character spotlight is on Bigfoot, one of the main characters in his book.



    Noah BairdWelcome to Literarily Speaking, Noah.  Your new novel, Donations to Clarity, has quite a premise!  What inspired you to write this story?

    Noah: I don’t tell a lot of people this, but I feel like we have a connection. The book is an autobiography. I hoaxed Bigfoot so I could open a Bigfoot tour company. I was captured by a Bigfoot because, I can only assume, he thought I was a female Bigfoot. Bigfoot tried to make his sex slave, but I escaped with the help of the world’s only Julian Lennon impersonator. It’s all true.

    While everyone has heard of Bigfoot, can you tell me how he is portrayed in your book?  Nice? Mean?

    Noah: He’s a misogynist pig. I thought of my wildest friend, the kind of guy who lacks a filter between his brain and his mouth, and pretended he was raised in the wild.

    So three friends – Harry, Earl and Patch – find him one day and decide to capitalize on this.  How do they capture him?

    Noah: They really don’t capture Bigfoot. The real Bigfoot falls in love with the hoaxed Bigfoot (who is a guy in a Chewbacca costume), believing the hoax is a female. Bigfoot saves the hoaxed Bigfoot after he/she is darted by a Bigfoot investigator. After that, Bigfoot follows the hoax around because he’s dumbstruck in love.

    Donations to ClarityDid he go peacefully or did he go with a fight?

    Noah: Totally peacefully. The hoaxer (Earl in the Chewbacca suit) had to do a little stripper dance to get him into the mental institute. Other wise, Bigfoot is like a teenager in love for the first time.

    What new experiences does Bigfoot go through that he had never been through before?

    Noah: I’ve never thought of the character’s arc that way, but Bigfoot is going through a lot of new experiences. He’s interacting with humans, fighting government agents, going indoors (that’s a big deal if you’re Bigfoot). He also gets into a bunch of drugs in the mental institute.

    Would you say Bigfoot is an introvert or extrovert?

    Noah: Extrovert.

    Does Bigfoot develop a love interest in the book?

    Noah: He does. He falls in love with the hoaxed Bigfoot. Nobody knows if this is true, but I assume in the book there is similar sexual dimorphism (in this case, differences in size between males and females) in Bigfoot as there are with humans. A man in a wookie costume would be very petite to Bigfoot. It turns out, he likes that kind of thing.

    Is there a part in the book where we actually get mad at Bigfoot?

    Noah: I don’t think so. He’s a pig, but it’s so funny that nobody has told me they were insulted. My mother wanted to slap me after reading one chapter. I don’t think that should scare any readers off. Sometimes moms have a tough time when they realize their little boys turned into grown men. It had nothing to do with Bigfoot.

    Is there a part in the book where we feel sorry for him?

    Noah: Maybe. When he loses his love interest.

    If you could meet Bigfoot in person, what would he say to you about how he was portrayed in the book?

    Noah:  I hope he would thank me for finally writing a Bigfoot story where he isn’t the villain or scary.

    Finally, if Bigfoot had a few words of wisdom for my readers, what would he say?

    Read book! Make laugh. Give to woman. Make woman laugh. Maybe woman want make mate after big laugh. Everyone happy.

    About the Author

    Noah Baird wanted to attend the Ringling Bros. and Barnum & Bailey Clown College, but his grades weren’t good enough (who knew?).  However, his grades were good enough to fly for the U.S. Navy (again, who knew?), where he spent 14 years until the government figured out surfers don’t make the best military aviators. He has also tried to be a stand-up comedian in Hawaii for Japanese tourists where the language barrier really screwed up some great jokes. On the bright side, a sailboat was named after the punchline of one of his jokes.

    He has several political satire pieces published on The Spoof under the pen name orioncrew.  Noah received his bachelors in Historical and Political Sciences from Chaminade University, where he graduated magna cum laude. He knows nothing about hoaxing Bigfoot. Donations to Clarity is his first novel.

    You can visit his website at or his blog at

    Connect with him at Facebook at

    About Donations to Clarity

    The plan was simple: hoax bigfoot, then sell tours to bigfoot enthusiasts. The plan wasn’t brilliant, and neither were Harry, Earl, and Patch. The three chemical-abusing friends only wanted to avoid the 9 to 5 rat race, but their antics attract the attention of a real bigfoot. When the misogynistic Earl is mistaken for a female bigfoot by the nearsighted creature and captured; it is just the beginning of their problems.

    The U.S. Government has a plan to naturalize the mythical creatures living within the U.S. borders.  The problem is the plan needs to be carried out carefully.  You can’t just drop little green men and Sasquatch in the middle of Walmart without warning Ma and Pa Taxpayer. The naturalization program is not ready to be set into motion, and the rogue bigfoot is bringing too much attention to itself, including a feisty investigative reporter who uncovers the truth of the government conspiracy and two bigfoot researchers. No longer able to contain the situation, government agents are tasked with eliminating the bigfoot and all witnesses.

    Between bong hits and water balloon fights, Harry and Patch come up with a plan to save Earl and the lovestruck bigfoot. Where do you hide a giant, mythical creature? In an insane asylum, because who is going to listen to them?

    Along the way, the three friends learn Star Wars was a government training film for children, the truth behind Elvis meeting President Nixon, and the significance of the weight of the human turd.

    Donations to Clarity

    Click on banner to visit Noah Baird’s official tour page where you can find out how to win a copy of his book!

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