The First Page is one of Literarily Speaking’s newest features. Here we get a glimpse into an author’s work and what better place to begin than the first page? Authors share their first pages and answer a few questions about why they started their books off the way they did. Today we welcome Nicholas Oliva, author of the nonfiction spiritual book, Finding God: To Believe or Not to Believe (Old Line Publishing).
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Finding God: To Believe or Not to Believe
by Nicholas Oliva
The First Page
I waited a long time to begin writing this book. The incidents contained within occurred in October 2004, while at a hospital in Nevada. There are a few reasons why I chose to wait this long to tell my story. the first and most influential was the reasoning that by taking a stand on what I experienced and believe, I would have many detractors and people who would attack me in order to perpetuate and bolster their own beliefs and/or lack of beliefs and use me as an example. In order to fully explain what I’ve gone through, I will have to touch upon religion, morality, and ethics. My eschatological theme is actually non-religous and promotes the energy within as Godly, not the looking outward, by seeing with the eyes of the world. I always have been skeptical of near-death experiences or NDE. So it was with much skepticism I examined the empirical evidence of charts confirming the flat-line of my heart while in intensive care.
Thank you for visiting us, Nicholas. Can you tell us what your book is about?
Finding God: To Believe or Not to Believe is merely one human’s perspective and life experiences I am sure will mirror many other beings on this planet. To answer the question “why?” we must begin to understand who we are and what our limitations are. To be so arrogant as to have all the answers is the beginning of any normal human exclusionary, and possibly violent, action against those who would do harm in order to force others to believe as they do. No sword or bullet will convince any fanatic to change their mind. However, the defining point for a fanatic is a relative term in this world. Those who do nothing to stop this behavior can be just as guilty as the fanatic they allow to perpetuate such violence by tacit approval.
I waited a long time to begin writing this book. The incidents contained within occurred in October 2004, while at a hospital in Nevada. There are a few reasons why I chose to wait this long to tell my story. The first and most influential was the reasoning that by taking a stand on what I experienced and believe, I would have many detractors and people who would attack me in order to perpetuate and bolster their own beliefs and/or lack of beliefs and use me as an example. In order to fully explain what I’ve gone through, I will have to touch upon religion, morality, and ethics. My eschatological theme is actually non-religious and promotes the energy within as Godly, not the looking outward, by seeing with the eyes of the world. I always have been skeptical of near-death experiences or NDE. So it was with much skepticism I examined the empirical evidence of charts confirming the flat-line of my heart while in intensive care.
Much of what I think goes back to a search for meaning I have been drawn to throughout my life, beginning at a very early age. I was an altar boy, studied Latin, and planned to become a priest until the Pastor I adored, and everyone in the parish loved, committed multiple acts of sexual abuse to me and others over a period of four years. Those acts changed my thought process about the sanctity of the Church and the real questioning began in earnest for me. The idea of such a tidy and pious devotion to a religion containing more holes than Swiss cheese, as well as a whole horde of other accepted dogma of Catholicism, brought me to a silent, but pervasive, pensiveness.
All of this being said on such a heady subject, I have tried to write this in a non-scholarly, at times humorous and hopefully interesting, but easily digestible way. I’m sure there will be some indigestion occurring with those who will remain opposed to logical thought, irrational fear, and immovable theology. Bon appétit to those of diverse palates.
The first page is perhaps one of the most important pages in the whole book. It’s what draws the reader into the story. Why did you choose to begin your book this way?
Actually the “first” page is the Introduction and I chose to twist things around so that the reader could get an idea of what was to follow certainly wasn’t going to be predictable in the least. This is a book about spirituality, my own Near Death Experience, and religions. The following is how I began the book…..the surprise is who I quoted:
No sword or bullet will convince any fanatic to change their mind. However, the defining point for a fanatic is a relative term in this world. Those who do nothing to stop this behavior can be just as guilty as the fanatic they allow to perpetuate such violence by tacit approval. The following is from a speech made by a very conservative man in 1981 in the United States Senate Chambers:
On religious issues there can be little or no compromise. There is no position on which people are so immovable as their religious beliefs. There is no more powerful ally one can claim in a debate than Jesus Christ, or God, or Allah, or whatever one calls this Supreme Being. But like any powerful weapon, the use of God’s name on one’s behalf should be used sparingly. The religious factions that are growing throughout our land are not using their religious clout with wisdom. They are trying to force government leaders into following their position 100 percent. If you disagree with these religious groups on a particular moral issue, they complain, they threaten you with a loss of money or votes or both.
I’m frankly sick and tired of the political preachers across this country telling me as a citizen that if I want to be a moral person, I must believe in “A,” “B,” “C” and “D.” Just who do they think they are? And from where do they presume to claim the right to dictate their moral beliefs to me?
And I am even more angry as a legislator who must endure the threats of every religious group who thinks it has some God-granted right to control my vote on every roll call in the Senate. I am warning them today: I will fight them every step of the way if they try to dictate their moral convictions to all Americans in the name of “conservatism.”
That man was Senator Barry Goldwater from Arizona.
In the course of writing your book, how many times would you say that first page changed and for what reasons?
It never changed at all.
Was there ever a time after the book went to print you wished you had changed something on the first page?
No
What advice can you give to aspiring authors to stress how important the first page is?
The first page sets the tone for the entire book. If you cannot get the reader’s interest in the very beginning chances are you are not providing a “hook” or a point of view that is compelling.
What prompted you to write this book?
Don’t you think that if people would wake up and realize that life is so short that they could put aside their differences and follow “the Golden Rule” and just do unto others as they would have done unto themselves? “If” is the key word in this question. “If” is a small word with huge implications. One of the quotes I use in the beginning of my book is from Star Trek II. “How we deal with death is at least as important as how we deal with life, wouldn’t you say?” Most would “not say” as they fear the unknown, no matter how imminent it is going to be and allow that fear to seep through in myriad ways that are not healthy or good for society as a whole. Hence our worldwide situation of swallowing that bitter pill to prevent those fears from taking our psyche over and to begin dealing with each other with compassion and understanding without judgments over which God we chose. It is a tough road to traverse but as society develops the technology that will decide our ultimate future, we need to live in the now and take care of ourselves and those that we love.
Another primary reason for writing this book was to try and create a bridge for people of different spiritual beliefs (or none) to come together and understand that each has their own path. For example, if we take away any possibility for life after flesh, does it make any difference in how one acts in this dimension? If one is an atheist or a Christian should they not act to make the choice for the betterment of society as a whole?
“To believe” is a leap of faith and no one should deny anyone that faith as long as it doesn’t hurt anyone else and if one does not have that faith then they can be just as humanist as Mother Theresa. I realize it is a daunting task to ask such polar opposite thinkers to come together but what I am saying is logical. My god doesn’t beat your god and if you don’t have one doesn’t mean that you are a horrible human being. Society needs to enlighten or lighten up on the essence of being human. In geologic time we have been here but seconds and we need not be so arrogant to those of our own species as if we have the answers to all salvation and they are heathens not worthy of being on this earth. Being religious does not mean that you live in a spiritual way. Spirituality is of the human mind and is a way of life not a ritual to practice on Sundays. Love is the greatest gift that we have. Sharing it and being selfless is the hardest part of accepting that gift. I am grateful to be able to be here now…and really that’s all I can ask for. We really are all in it together and I’m trying to convince people of that very fact….one mind at a time.
Did something specific happen to prompt you to write this book?
Much of what I think goes back to a search for meaning I have been drawn to throughout my life, beginning at a very early age. I was an altar boy, studied Latin, and planned to become a priest until the Pastor I adored, and everyone in the parish loved, committed multiple acts of sexual abuse to me and others over a period of four years. Those acts changed my thought process about the sanctity of the Church and the real questioning began in earnest for me. The idea of such a tidy and pious devotion to a religion containing more holes than Swiss cheese, as well as a whole horde of other accepted dogma of Catholicism, brought me to a silent, but pervasive, pensiveness.
The process began at age ten. My natural ability to speed read had me zipping though texts and encyclopedias in my parent’s spare room. My punishment when I was bad or disobedient—go to the spare room! Little did they know I liked to be alone in the spare bedroom. Never show your hand when you’re that young. I learned encyclopedic history at an early age and I never could seem to rectify the history of man and the religious aspects of what was daily living within the Church’s doctrines. None of it ever made any sense to me. The kernel of why stood firm in my mind when I was dismissed as a harmless, shy altar boy patronized by those ‘holy’ disciples of God’s word, but never taken seriously. I also had an analytical and legal mind early on.
On Sundays my parents hammered me to mow the lawn (one of my least favorite activities which I think eventually caused the development of my ‘Bubble Boy’ allergies). One of the Ten Commandments was no servile work on the day of the Lord. I told my parents it was a mortal sin to work on Sundays and I wasn’t going to do it. I wasn’t going to burn in hell because I broke one of the Commandments. Well, this motivated them to proceed to the Pastor and explain their frustrations with me. He told them the commandment applied only to work done for money. When my mother and father confronted me and told me what the Priest told them, I replied “You give me an allowance based on my chores so that’s for money and it’s still a sin.” They just looked at me and walked away dumbfounded. Then my father started ordering me to do it on Saturdays beginning the next week, but with my point won, I didn’t raise any more fuss.
I am not on a Crusade to get even or destroy anything or anyone I can. I am not trying to hurt people of any faith. I’m trying to get them to understand they are responsible for their actions, not the Lord, who conveniently makes those of said devoutness able to justify in their own minds incredibly horrible things they do to one another. I’ve made my peace with Father Richard and his sexual abuse many, many years ago. It had subconscious effects on me that have taken years for me to realize, nonetheless. Some of which resulted in a twisted perspective and a mentality that has been a gift for me and created a normal insanity I enjoy on a day to day basis. In fact, I know I’m just as damaged as everyone else out there, in my own way, and that way allowed me the ability to handle immense troubles and “face piles of trials with smiles” as the Moody Blues put it.
I have no ill will toward people of faith, none whatsoever, as long as my own beliefs and faith are respected. We can talk and debate any points at all without judgments, but I have yet to find anyone not judging in a prejudicial manner to enable an intelligent conversation. I mean no harm to good Christian people, or to anyone of any religion. If their religion gives them the strength to carry on with the true selflessness of what that faith should always be founded upon, then dominus vobiscum, or peace be with you. I have no gripe or groans over anyone who lives their life within what they preach, as long as they preach peace, love, and understanding. The issue I approach in this book is one of exclusion for those of non-like minds, not those of no faith or zealots (that term came from religious fanatics who would kill for their faith –Zealots).
If we all could keep our fear, greed, and pride at bay we could accomplish great things in the course of human history. It’s not too late. It begins with convincing one mind at a time. We can agree to not agree as long as we put the weapons down, stop the hate of those we don’t understand, and always allow for doubt – always. Once you think you have it all figured out, you’ve lost the battle. Life is a series of unending educational experiences. Don’t shut them out by holding steadfast to anyone’s dogma which doesn’t include you as the force and spirit behind it all. You are what counts. You are the only one who can make a difference in the world about you.
If you could leave the world with one piece of advice, what would it be?
People should take good wishes from anyone and whatever sources that may be based on illusions of what anyone may think “God” is. Those good wishes are still good deeds and not a road to hell as many atheists want to believe. They do not want to believe it because they do not want to validate anyone’s religion because they think that if they allow any piece of that religion then they are acknowledging all of it. And atheists have a point in that they are highly discriminated against by those of religion. They have a tougher road to hoe than Wiccans. I think they should be called naturalists, not atheists, as it is closer to what they ascribe. They believe in the natural order of things. There are also different levels of what constitutes atheism. I think that many become hostile as a result of the backlash that is given to the negative connotations of the word atheist and what it implies to most people.
I think that good thoughts are good deeds and a prayer is hopefully also a good thought. I seriously doubt most even know what god they’re praying to as members of the same faith have different mindsets of what that deity is in their minds. My point in all this is that love in all aspects trump any and all dogma, non-believing, or any “Word of God” that tell you to hurt anyone else in the name of that religion. As far as I’m concerned in my book (literally) caring for a human being without conditions is a wonderful thing and far supersedes any and all other beliefs or actions. Too bad few do exactly that, but there are people out there trying. Hope should replace faith and perhaps we’d be on the higher road.
I know of many people who will not have an opportunity to enjoy family and close friends because of petty bickering. I know of others whose pride allowed the opportunity to be lost, probably forever, over nothing but misconceived and misdirected anger. Life is not like the movies with the sun-setting, happy ending, and all being well. It is tough and hard to swallow at times, but hope is the only answer there is regardless of what you believe and what god you pray to, if at all. Try to never assume, always give the benefit of the doubt to all, in order to live the life of a real human being. It can be the beginning of a new beginning. Scattering love and happiness is worth the effort, those seeds will grow, I assure you. One must have love for one’s self to be able to spread love unconditionally.
Do you have any advice for writers or readers?
“Dreams are the substance of reality.” (Henry Miller) Dreaming is what gets me through to tomorrow. They can take hold with little things and it is the little things that add up to the big things that can happen. I’ve learned long ago that what happens sometimes is beyond one’s control, but how one reacts is the true measure of whether happiness exists after the dream is reached. After all a dream is no longer a dream if it is now reality. One should always watch for what one dreams. They may come true. Keep rowing that boat down the stream, merrily.
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